I Can Feed Three People for $1.50

So I'm pretty proud of myself.  At Costco, I can feed my two kids and myself lunch for $1.50.  Here's the break down:

For $1.50, I buy the soda hot dog combo.  I split the hot dog in half, my son gets one half I get the other.  My daughter eats the excess bread off my half in little pieces.  We all share the water I put in the soda glass (no soda for kids!)  

Ta-da!  I knew you'd be impressed.

Happiest Place On Earth

Disneyland, move over!  My city is the happiest place on earth!

Why?  People make out in parking lots here.  Yup, grown adults going at it all over the place.  This is supposed to be a rich people's town-- don't they have houses?  Or cars?

Which leads me to the question:  What do you do when people are making out in public?  I'm not talking a a little kiss, I'm talking full on sucking faces off.  I see a few options:

1- Ignore, avert eyes.

2- Make juvenile remark, usually "Get a room!"

3- Stare at them until they stop

None of these are really to my liking.  I wish I could think of something better.

My Washing Machine

A FEW DAYS AGO:

Dear Washing Machine,

Please stop leaking.  I just got you a few weeks ago with our new house and you aren't covered in the house warranty.  I promise to be very nice, to give you only wonderful detergents and to not stress you out by giving you large work loads.  I promise to spray Shout on all stains so that you don't have to work so hard... just please stop the water puddles in my laundry room.  How about this-- I'll pretend I didn't see the leak and you stop doing it? 

Love,

J-me

YESTERDAY:

No more water leak!

MORAL OF THE STORY:

If you don't want to pay a service man to fix your appliances, write love letters instead.

Ooops, his bad

Sorry I've been MIA, I've been moving.  Actually, I think I'm just apologizing to myself cause I haven't actually given this web address out to anyone except Em.  So funny story:

Husband and I were invited to go to the Marriage Enhancement class at church.  They challenged us this week to "put the romance back into our relationship."  Don't worry, this is G-rated.  So its become a joke between us.  For example, I find a cheesy poem, give it to husband, and say, "Look, I've put the romance back in our relationship-- your turn."  

So we're unpacking boxes from college and he comes across something and hands it to me.  He says, "Here's romance for you."  This is what the paper says:

Husand's hand writing: "Has anyone told you lately how good looking you are-- especially in red?"

Someone else's hand writing NOT MINE: "No, not lately.  I don't know what to say to that.  I have been trying to think of something but nothing sounds right.  So I guess you have me at a loss of words which doesn't happen very often."  (Umm... lame!)

So I say to my husband: ""Um, this isn't my hand writing."

Husband: (Misses a beat) "Yes it is."

Me: "No, its not.  Yeah, that was romantic."

His bad.  And FYI, my response would have been WAY better.

Alias Obsession

So Alias hasn't been on for what four years now?  

I had a dream last night that I was Sydney Bristow and my husband was Vaughn.  We were on a mission for SD-6 (the bad guys, cause we were double agents) in Bangkok.  Being the new agent that I was, I accidentally used my REAL ID to check into a hotel.  Oooppps!  I told my husband what happened and he looked at me while he was silently thinking, "Rookie."  When we got home, at the debriefing I asked my handler to get some fake IDs.  When we got home, there were these shady looking guys driving around in State Trooper cars.  (State Troopers... right)  We put both put the kids in the car and started trying to out maneuver them and get away (because of course we would bring our children on a high sped chase in our bright red Chevy truck).  We got away from the State Troopers, but then a group of "cops" blocked the road.  I rolled down the window and said, "Show me your badge!"  he wouldn't, so I knew he was a fake.  I told husband, "Go! Go! Go!"  That's when I woke up.

I miss Alias. 

My Swim Class

I frequently attend a water aerobics class at the local gym.  The average age in the class is about 70, I am 28.  These ladies are HILARIOUS.  Conversations a few days ago:

Cute grandma #1:  "My friend just married someone 15 years younger than her!  He's not even 50 yet!  He walked in from riding his bike and he was still in his little shorts-- WOW!  MY husband was mumbling that he was showing off and I said he could show off anytime he wanted to.  My friend says its SO FUN when they are young!"

Cute grandma #2: "While we're in the pool, we can pretend we're on vacation on the beach in Mexico-- we just need a hot cabana boy bringing us drinks."

Note to All Engaged People

Singing to each other during the first dance of your wedding might make me laugh... but I will try hard not to.