"Mommy, Wheres Yours Pinky?"

So yesterday I was getting out of the shower and my two year old son asks me, "Mommy, wheres yours pinky?"  Now I don't know where he got this "pinky" business cause I only teach him correct words for body parts.  I explained to him that girls don't have pinkies, only boys. That seemed to make sense to him.  One awkward conversation down, one million to go.

Gross

So I was making dinner and had to brown some hamburger.  Being the healthy person that I am, I went to rinse off the fat off the beef with a strainer.  Not only get I accidently get beef fat all over the floor, but I stepped in it too.  Gross.  I know, I'm just not that exciting these days.

Rub a Little Salt on the Open Wound

Me: So today I changed the nastiest diaper of my life-- poop all down the leg and everything.  Kid hadn't pooped in days.

Em: So a few days ago I went on a private jet with the owner of the fat company I work for and delivered $50,000 to our contest winner in Arizona.

Me: I read a book that talked about a private jet once.

My Favorite Christmas Card

My friend Dana wins for best Christmas card line.  It goes as follows:

"Well, there's a few good things that come with being in a recession.  One is we all get to find out what each other's natural hair color is."

Hands down, best line.

P.S. No, I do not dye my hair.